Depressed? Here, have a disco ball

Hear me out.

When I moved out of my house last year and into a new space, my friend Kathryn sent me a housewarming present in the form of an 8” disco ball.

“I bought one during the early days of COVID,” the card read. “It was a very nice addition to my space in an otherwise not super great time.”

In early 2023, I was deep in the throes of my own not-super-great time. My husband and I decided to (lovingly! amicably! respectfully!) end our marriage. (Don’t let the Gwyneth and Coldplay of it all fool you; consciously uncoupling is still pretty sad.) I didn’t know if I wanted to stay in Los Angeles. My family was across the country, most of my friends were scattered across timezones and state lines and long drives. But also, I can work from anywhere, so then why did I just rent a house 6 minutes from where I had been living? (Because the house was great, it had room for the inflatable hot tub, and I wasn’t ready to leave LA! being my answer.)

But at the time I was very much like whatttttt the efffffff am I doingggg as I continued to just DO THINGS like posting sales on Instagram and dissociating in my aforementioned inflatable hot tub.

This went on for months. You can listen to this episode of Gee Thanks! where I told Sally all of the things I grief-shopped for this time last year.

Packages kept arriving: things I bought myself thinking they’d be the key to escaping my depression, only to become more depressed when I would inevitably realize that I would not be cured by retail therapy.

Then, a square box arrived on a day I wasn’t expecting any deliveries. I read the note from Kathryn. I placed the disco ball on my table, and begrudgingly opened the blinds, which I kept closed 24/7 because it felt insulting to wake up to a Beautiful Sunny Day when all I wanted was weather to match my misery. My room immediately lit up. Kathryn was right. Zoloft works hard but light reflections also work hard, and I needed all hands on deck.

So here’s my recommendation: If you’re sad, buy yourself a disco ball. If someone you know is sad, buy them a disco ball.

Tell them, set it down near a window.

Tell them, for love of god, open your blinds.

Tell them, move it around until your walls are dancing. It won’t feel this dark forever.

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