I am once again begging you to stop using towels
I'll die on this hill (comfortably).
Hey Geezers,
A bunch of Memorial Day sales are still in play, including this one from The Company Store, where you can get everything from bedding to bathrobes at up to 30% off. You can also get towels (I think they are Nora McInerny’s favorites!), but I am anti-towel (at least post-shower), and I would once again like to sing the praises of ditching bath towels and trading them in for a bathrobe. I’ve been singing this song for years. It is my favorite song.
If you don’t care and just want the link, here it is: the Geezer-approved Company Store robe at 30% off!
Here are the lyrics:
A towel is annoying to me!!!
It’s always slipping or loosening or requiring some level of active management.
A bathrobe lets me move on with my morning routine.
I can brush my teeth, do my red light mask, make coffee, scroll on my phone, dry my hair, fold laundry out of the dryer, scroll on my phone, walk around my apartment, and even scroll on my phone. Once the robe on, I stop thinking about it. Once the towel is on, it falls off. AND MY ARMS ARE OUT! And they’re cold!
And yes, the robe gets wet. 🗣️ THE ROBE GETS WET! I genuinely do not see this as a flaw. I think it’s actually a better system than trying to become completely dry as fast as possible with a towel. Your bathrobe is a towel-like blanket that wraps around your body. It’s the original Snuggie, absorbing the leftover water while you exist comfortably. I just end up washing it at the same cadence as I would a towel, so I have two robes. Okay I have three. That way I always have a clean, dry, robe even in times of avoiding my laundry. Also, it keeps me warm, which matters! Because getting cold immediately after a hot shower is self-harm. Stop doing that!
Robes make the whole post-shower experience feel calmer while towels are purely functional. A good bathrobe provides atmosphere. A good bathrobe is Nancy Meyers cinematic universe. Putting one on feels like declaring that nothing important is happening for at least twenty minutes. And if you’re me, three hours sometimes. There’s a reason hotels and spas are always pushing their dang robes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The second you put one on, everything feels better!!!!!!!!!! Because everything IS better. WITH A ROBE.
PS. Before I forget (and because you all were such big fans of this last year), Shop Week is back! Now through May 30, you get $10 in Shop Cash when you spend $100, plus daily flash deals up to 70% off from brands like Flamingo Estate, Brooklinen, and Telfar (!!!). And if you’re new to Shop, $5 off your first order. (Thanks to Shopify for sponsoring my rant about towels today! You da best.)
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