One product to achieve my "b*tchy" hair

And a throwback to my wedding day.

In late June I decided to get 9 inches lopped off my head in favor of what I started referring to as a “bitchy bob”. It’s the shortest — and bitchiest — my hair has ever been.

We basically went from this (please pour one out for my wedding dress):

To this:

See? Bitchy.

I asked for my left side to be a little longer than the right, because that’s the way I toss and tuck my hair. I also asked for the slightest asymmetrical cut through the back to make it feel a little more modern and 2024. It was a huge change but I am thrilled with it.

What I learned from my stylist: You need products to keep hair bitchy. After much trial and error, I found what I was looking for in the Captain Blankenship Sea Salt Spray. Non-sticky, non-crunchy (I tried so many products and you wouldn’t believe how many I could not say this about!). Geezer and friend of the pod Ashley Spivey agrees with me!

Now you can get 20% off Captain Blankenship for the next 48 hours!

Captain Blankenship's sea salt spray is beloved for its natural ingredients, including sea salt and essential oils, which offer a textured, beachy (bitchy!) look while being gentle on hair and the environment. It’s also cruelty-free, which I appreciate. It was also the one product I tried that made my hair look like it was just naturally tousled. At $26 a bottle, the formula I prefer has the shimmer. If you want to opt out, you can grab the original 2oz bottle for $19. No shimmer included.

Here’s how you use it:

1. Wash your hair

2. Squeeze out excess water and comb

3. 3-4 sprays of Captain Blankenship Salt Spray

4. DO NOT TOUCH YOUR HAIR OR COMB IT — JUST LET IT DRY.

5. NO REALLY, STOP TOUCHING YOUR HAIR.

I am intentionally linking to the version that does not have the gold shimmer, but should you want extra extra in your bitchy hair, there is a version that glitters your hair. I love that version; I know it’s not for everyone.

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