The self tanner my friend bought 26 times 👀

I had to try it; here's how it went.

Jul 30, 2026

Hey Geezers,

I recently learned my childhood friend Cara (below, on the right and me on the left), otherwise known as Beans (and she also calls me Beans), has been gatekeeping the Beauty by Earth Self Tanner from me for years. Beans, who I have known since kindergarten! Beans, who would always get the library books we both wanted first because alphabetically, C-A-R-A came before C-A-R-O (and every single time we had to engage with the letter count off with the librarian I was somehow holding out for a different outcome).

The betrayal!

Tap to Shop

So after I was served a what seemed like 7,300 targeted ads for the “self-tanner that doesn’t smell or doesn’t transfer” (yeah right?), I posted to see if any Geezers had tried it before or if it was too good to be true (Serena Wolf also told me she had been targeted with the same ads and also ordered it). Then my phone dinged and it was Beans, texting me to be like, “I love this stuff; I’ve reordered it on Amazon 26 times!”, which is perhaps the strongest endorsement of a product I have ever encountered and that says a lot, considering my line of work.

Because I both trust my friend of 35 years with my life and, more importantly, my tan, I said, “I’ve heard enough” and ordered both the Light and Medium shades.

HEY! Do you love shopping secondhand but get overwhelmed during The Hunt?

I got you.

You do not need to memorize thousands of brands or possess some magical thrift-store gene to find the good stuff. You need a system.

In my new thrifting series for premium subscribers, I’m teaching you exactly how I scan an overwhelming store, spot the pieces everyone else walks past, and decide what is actually worth bringing home. I’ve found $5 Hermès shoes, a $20 Clare V. bag, $10 genuine leather jackets, and incredible things from brands I had never heard of before. I learned what to look for, and I’m going to teach you.

Become a premium Gee Thanks! subscriber today!

I started by applying the Light lotion to just one leg so I could properly investigate. It goes on exactly like regular body lotion, so there’s no mitt, guide color or elaborate technique involved. The white cast guides where you need to go, and then it fades in. I laid on my bed for the 15 mins it takes to dry and it didn’t transfer. Within a few hours, I could see a subtle difference.

Scientific, right?

It looked good, but since I already have a little bit of a summer base tan, I decided to try Medium next.

And, okay: the Medium is SO GOOD. The color looks completely natural (not orange), as as promised, there are no streaks, and there is no aggressive self-tanner smell.

My official shade plan is Medium during any part of the year when I have even a little base color and Light in the winter, when I have no base tan to speak of. They also make a separate face tanning lotion, and I am only going to use that one in Light because Medium on my face feels like a lot.

A few application notes from Cara and me: exfoliate first, apply it after a shower, and let it dry for 15 minutes before getting dressed. Be careful around your knees, ankles and elbows (less is more in these areas), and wash your hands thoroughly afterward. For the tops of your hands, one of you suggested buffing it in with a makeup brush, which is genius.

I have been a true spray tan devotee, but this may actually change me, especially in the winter or when I want to look a little more alive but don’t have an event important enough to justify booking an appointment. It is affordable, easy to use and does exactly what I wanted it to do.

If you want to order it, you have some options: Amazon has it on sale for almost 20% off, and you can also get it on Grove, or the Beauty by Earth website with a BOGO deal.

Happy bronzing!